My Hair Story

It took me a while before I actually "went natural." During my sophmore year, Fall 2007, a friend told me she was going natural. When she first said it I did not know what she meant. She went on to explain that she would stop getting relaxers and let her hair revert to its natural state. At first I was confused, "How would she be able to manage her hair in its natural state?" Through our conversation I learned that our hair is very versatile, which I already knew but had never considered. But, by relaxing our hair monthly we limit the range of hair. It had never occured to me that I could always press, or straighten, my hair in its natural state if that was a style I desired. After our conversation I was excited and inspired. The afro look was popular at the time, but many people were achieving this look by sewing artifical hair onto their natural hair. I decided that day that I would not get any more perms and I would allow my hair to grow out in its natural state. At the time I did not realize what I was getting myself into. I did not know how to take care of my hair in its natural state, so as months passed without a relaxer my hair became unmanageable. My friends and family also noticed my transition and were not supportive. I was teased because my edges were "nappy" and there were many times when I was told I needed to "do something to my hair." I went four months without a relaxer and my cousin's wedding was quickly approaching. I was completely out of touch with maintaining my hair, so I felt the only option I had for the wedding was to get a sew-in. The sew-in reminded my of how easy it is to maintain straightened hair and after the wedding I relaxed my hair:( This was the last time I would relax my hair though. I started to research natural hair care and I became more knowledgeable of how to take care of my own hair. This is a sad fact that many African-American women have to face, we have denied our hair for so long that few African-American women understand how to care for black hair. Those who do understand black hair are reserved for the hair salon, which perpetuates our dependency on beauty shops and relaxers. The more I learned about natural hair the more excited I became about transitioning. During my transition I read that natural hair is stronger than relaxer hair and better supports coloring. I decided that I would dye my hair, a huge mistake! My hair begin to break and shed because the straighten ends were weak without the relaxer and also weak compared to my new growth. The breakage became so bad that July 17 I decided to cut my hair to the "new growth." I felt so liberated, but my family was fuming. This is when I started to realize how important hair is in the African-American community. My father even told me my "head looked like a raggedy mop." But I didn't care, I embrace my natural hair through it all. I have been natural for 18 months and I couldn't be happier. This journey is helping me better understand myself and I recognize a lot of growth from this experience. The daily feedback I receive from my hair journey motivates me to understand how beauty is defined by other African-American women. I feel that our current beauty standards are restrictive and harmful. Judge Milan made a great statement that has stuck with me for years. She had a case with a black mother suing a white salon because they relaxed her daughter's hair and made it fall out. Judge Milan sent the child out of the courtroom and went in for the mother. She asked the mother how could she tell her daughter that what God gave her was not good enough. As I watched the show, I was in shock. How could Judge Milan tell us how to take care of our hair. She doesn't understand how hard it is to manage our "nappy hair." We HAVE to get relaxers, it's a MUST. I even told friends about the episode and they all stated the same points. After I went natural, I gained a lot more respect for Judge Milan. She made a valid point that many black mothers need to consider.